How’s everyone’s week going?
I’ve got a pretty unusual week for me. I worked Sunday, I’m working this Saturday, which means that I have two days off mid week-Tuesday and Thursday. I’ve been Monday to Friday for like two months. This is gonna be weird! Having days off on weekdays are really productive for me though. I’m looking forward to getting some necessary things done around the house and having lots of “me time”. I’m the type of person who needs “me time”, are you? Or, do you always love being with other people?
Something that I’ve refrained from mentioning on my blog is that I’ve suffered from an eating disorder, anorexia. From when I was about 15 till I was around 21 I was deeply in the disorder. During this time there were a few spans of a couple months were I really thought I was or was close to being better but I really had no idea what “better” really was. For the past few years (mainly in the last year) I’ve considered myself finally recovered.
Being recovered to me goes like this:
Day by day eating disorder thoughts cross my mind. I’m really great at ignoring the thoughts telling me to under eat but I still really struggle with the types of foods I eat. I have “safe” foods and foods that I’m not so comfortable having. I’ve definitely come a long way and do frequently challenge myself with eating things out of my comfort zone but these times always require lots of thought. I’ve also noticed that when I branch outside of my “safe” foods I now tend to overeat. This is mostly due to that voice inside my head telling me that I won’t be eating this “forbidden” food for awhile so I better enjoy it. Or sometimes I’m tired of living with these restrictions that I set for myself so I make myself eat a “forbidden” food even if I’m not hungry, even if I don’t feel like eating it……. this seems eating disorder-like as well. I could go on and on about this sort of thing but I won’t. To make this long story short- I’m not fully recovered. I’ve got work to do.
What are my goals?
I want to be able to eat what I feel like eating, not something that my eating disorder is telling me is the right choice. I want to make the choice. I want to be able to eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full. I want to listen to my body and do what it’s telling me. I want to trust that my body will make the right choices for me. I want to be free of all these restricting thoughts in my head.
What are my plans?
I’ve mentioned the book Intuitive Eating on here before. I absolutely love this book. It describes my goals perfectly. This book teaches you to make peace with food and free yourself from dieting (eating disorder) thoughts. I’ve read this book before but haven’t actually followed what they say.
The book is based on the theory that if you allow yourself to have no restrictions with food-no portion sizes, no forbidden foods-you will be able to make peace with food. Eating what you truly crave will leave you satisfied. Knowing that you can always eat what you want, when you want will let you stop when you are full because you know that if you’re hungry you can have more.
This is such a wonderful book and my brief description does not do it justice. The book goes more in depth and description. I really recommend this book to anyone who wants a better relationship with food!
So, my plan is to follow the Intuitive Eating Program. I already feel a sense of contentment and freedom! No limits, no good or bad foods….. I feel a little lighter!
Of course I know that this won’t be easy. There will be up and down times. Times when I take the wrong turn or a couple of wrong turns. But I really want to get this a shot. I’m going to give it my all and document my progress. Yay me!
What this means for the blog:
I’m actually super excited for my blog. I can’t wait to do posts about all of the new recipes I’m going to try and all of the different foods I’ll eat. Through this process my blog will blossom into what I wanted it to be. A blog with great foods that I’ve discovered and lots of recipes. My restrictions with food have really limited my blog thus far and I can’t wait to break free!
I’ll also give updates with what I’m feeling during my progress with intuitive eating. I know it’ll be a great way to further myself in recovery and be a way to document how far I’ve come.
Anyways, off I go to start my Tuesday. It’s my brothers birthday today so my mom and I are going to hang out and prepare for his birthday dinner. I love hanging out with my mom. She’s the best :)
Hope everyone has a great day and thanks so much for listening!