A new direction…

Hi friends!

How’s everyone’s week going?

I’ve got a pretty unusual week for me.  I worked Sunday, I’m working this Saturday, which means that I have two days off mid week-Tuesday and Thursday.  I’ve been Monday to Friday for like two months.  This is gonna be weird!  Having days off on weekdays are really productive for me though.  I’m looking forward to getting some necessary things done around the house and having lots of “me time”.  I’m the type of person who needs “me time”, are you?  Or, do you always love being with other people?

Something that I’ve refrained from mentioning on my blog is that I’ve suffered from an eating disorder, anorexia.  From when I was about 15 till I was around 21 I was deeply in the disorder.  During this time there were a few spans of a couple months were I really thought I was or was close to being better but I really had no idea what “better” really was.  For the past few years (mainly in the last year) I’ve considered myself finally recovered.

Being recovered to me goes like this:

Day by day eating disorder thoughts cross my mind.    I’m really great at ignoring the thoughts telling me to under eat but I still really struggle with the types of foods I eat.  I have “safe” foods and foods that I’m not so comfortable having.  I’ve definitely come a long way and do frequently challenge myself with eating things out of my comfort zone but these times always require lots of thought.  I’ve also noticed that when I branch outside of my “safe” foods I now tend to overeat.  This is mostly due to that voice inside my head telling me that I won’t be eating this “forbidden” food for awhile so I better enjoy it.  Or sometimes I’m tired of living with these restrictions that I set for myself so I make myself eat a “forbidden” food even if I’m not hungry, even if I don’t feel like eating it……. this seems eating disorder-like as well.  I could go on and on about this sort of thing but I won’t.  To make this long story short- I’m not fully recovered.  I’ve got work to do.

What are my goals?

I want to be able to eat what I feel like eating, not something that my eating disorder is telling me is the right choice.  I want to make the choice.  I want to be able to eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full.  I want to listen to my body and do what it’s telling me.  I want to trust that my body will make the right choices for me.  I want to be free of all these restricting thoughts in my head.

What are my plans?

I’ve mentioned the book Intuitive Eating on here before.  I absolutely love this book.  It describes my goals perfectly.  This book teaches you to make peace with food and free yourself from dieting (eating disorder) thoughts.  I’ve read this book before but haven’t actually followed what they say.

The book is based on the theory that if you allow yourself to have no restrictions with food-no portion sizes, no forbidden foods-you will be able to make peace with food.  Eating what you truly crave will leave you satisfied.  Knowing that you can always eat what you want, when you want will let you stop when you are full because you know that if you’re hungry you can have more.

This is such a wonderful book and my brief description does not do it justice.  The book goes more in depth and description.  I really recommend this book to anyone who wants a better relationship with food!

So, my plan is to follow the Intuitive Eating Program.  I already feel a sense of contentment and freedom!  No limits, no good or bad foods….. I feel a little lighter!

Of course I know that this won’t be easy.  There will be up and down times.  Times when I take the wrong turn or a couple of wrong turns.  But I really want to get this a shot.  I’m going to give it my all and document my progress.  Yay me!

What this means for the blog:

I’m actually super excited for my blog.  I can’t wait to do posts about all of the new recipes I’m going to try and all of the different foods I’ll eat.  Through this process my blog will blossom into what I wanted it to be.  A blog with great foods that I’ve discovered and lots of recipes.  My restrictions with food have really limited my blog thus far and I can’t wait to break free!

I’ll also give updates with what I’m feeling during my progress with intuitive eating.  I know it’ll be a great way to further myself in recovery and be a way to document how far I’ve come.

Anyways, off I go to start my Tuesday.  It’s my brothers birthday today so my mom and I are going to hang out and prepare for his birthday dinner.  I love hanging out with my mom.  She’s the best :)

Hope everyone has a great day and thanks so much for listening!

xoxo


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About todayslady

I'm a vegetarian who loves to bake and cook.
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9 Responses to A new direction…

  1. Hayley says:

    Thank you for being brave enough to share your story.

    I also have a long history of anorexia with intermittent bouts of bulimia, and I believe that it is quite difficult to ever be truly rid of eating disorder thoughts. It can take years of working at it, but I do believe that it is possible. Eating disorders are devastating conditions and most people don’t understand how much they infiltrate your mind, and you can’t turn it off just like that. Even if you want so badly to be free.

    I’ve never read Intuitive Eating, but it seems to be a similar philosophy to Geneen Roth’s. If you’ve never read any of her books, they could be helpful for you. I also am constantly inspired by the website The Actor’s Diet, because Lynn does the intuitive eating thing so well and it seems to come so naturally for her now (she is an ED recoveree). And the website Medicinal Marzipan is awesome for a little lift when you’re struggling with body image, etc. Just thought I would share a few things that might interest you :)

    I wish you all the best in your recovery- I know you can do it and I’ll be reading/supporting you along the way!

  2. Thank you for sharing about your road to recovery from your eating disorder. Good luck as you continue on in the process, and I’ll look forward to seeing what recipes and new foods you have to share!

  3. Delishhh says:

    Wow – what interesting read and so personal. Great blog post and i hope that this book helps you. I look forward to see what recipes you have to share.

  4. I really admire you sharing more about yourself and ur personal struggles. Blogging can be a great vessel for that- and it lets you see a lot of your own struggles visually for yourself through words. its weird how recovery can sometimes feel like it has no end..and then maybe it doesnt, maybe its just something we always have to work on and always have to be aware of. I’m really inspired by your strength and as well all that uve managed to accomplish. the life you have now, i envy. you’ve been able to capture so much beauty and keep it with you throughout your journey <3

    and im definitely one of those people that needs to spend a lot of time alone to 'recharge my batteries'. social situations are okay, now and then, but not too much or for too long. i get really drained by everyones energy so i need frequent rest days in between long days/nights out with peeps.

    xoxo

  5. Kat says:

    Lady, reading your story was so powerful. Thank you for sharing it with us.

    I know what I struggle with every day is Intuitive Eating. I want so badly to be able to do it, but I’m just not there yet. Even if we only move an inch forward, we’ve still moved forward.

  6. Good luck with intuitive eating! It sounds like you’re certainly in the right mindset and that’s half the battle.

  7. Simply Life says:

    thank you so much for sharing your story and wonderful goals to work towards…

  8. I look forward to reading about your progress and successes. The good thing about life is that every day you can start over again. Which sounds totally cheesy, but that mindset really helps me not get down when I have a bad day, be it eating, mothering, whatever.

    I’m big on me time, which has gotten challenging now that I’m a stay at home mom. I really need time where no one is asking anything of me so I can just be with my thoughts.

  9. visit says:

    Hi, yup this piece of writing is truly fastidious and I have learned lot of things from it on the topic of blogging.
    thanks.

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